Let me be real for a minute.
I LOVE being a Mum. My kids are the absolute best thing to happen to me but it’s fair to say that when my children don’t go to sleep (which is a very regular occurrence in this household over the past 6 years) I tend to go a little crazy.
Ok… not crazy. I mean absolutely insane.
Now, I generally have a lot of patience (well I had a lot before I had children). But after fighting nights on end for an hour (minimum!) to get one child to sleep I get a little cuckoo.
Tonight it happened. I turned into the Mother that I really do NOT like. The person I become ashamed of and feel guilty about long after my son has gone to bed.
It happened after my son, 2, went into a fit of rage after I would not give him any milk and made him hop into bed.
Now let’s put this into perspective he had already had one cup of milk and wanted more. Which I agreed to and had got him a second cup of milk. This was met with ‘No, I don’t want my milk’ and then when I took the milk away he screamed for his milk. Hit repeat times about 10..or 20… I had decided I had enough and I said ‘no more milk’ and I drank it.
Yes definitely not one of my finer moments.
Cue even bigger tantrum. But the biggest tantrum was yet to come!
I lost my temper (not badly) but the patience I tried so hard to keep was worn down. I broke. Yes I most definitely broke. I then did the really embarrassing thing and I acted like a two year old. I screamed right on back at him then stormed out of the room. Closed the door and then stood there with the door closed whilst he cried some more.
So his tantrum then continued for another hour or so, until he finally gave up and went to sleep. Once he did give in it took around 5 minutes for him to pass out and sleep.
But now here I am, while he sleeps all nice and cozy in his bed, I am here feeling guilty and horrible about yelling at him. Knowing that i really SHOULD have been the bigger person and taught him how to be patient. But no, I taught him the exact thing that I was getting annoyed at him for.. having a tantrum.
I do know that this is not the end of the world and tomorrow all will be forgotten but I really don’t like that every now and then this scenario happens and I am stuck with Mother’s guilt.
So I am going to try my hardest to maintain my patience and teach him the right way to manage his temper.
Do you have any tips in this situation? Or have you felt this before? I would love to hear from you!